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Just Not Answering the Question

January 14, 2011

Lately it seems like people ask me questions I just don’t want to answer- but I don’t want to lie.  I have a real aversion to lying- even those white lies that everyone tells.  Not saying that I don’t lie because there is no way I can get away from being human.  Most times if I lie its not on purpose…one of those “Wait a second…was that true?  Really?”  I do have the tendency to talk (in person or on the phone) without thinking about everything relevant.  It isn’t like typing things out- cause even when you are typing it requires a bit more thought than just speaking.  Sometimes I ramble on and on though so it comes across as me just moving my fingers across a board and letting things flow.  Hum.  Some of that didn’t make sense- I don’t know if that proves my point or not. 

Anyway, back to those questions.  I think people are catching on to my subject aversions.  Lately they seem to be less transitory- I don’t just act like they didn’t say anything at all.  That, by the way, is completely different then acting as if I didn’t hear them at all.  I find that to act like I am just not hearing them prompts them to just keep asking- which is annoying.  So I just skip all that polite stuff in the middle and make the point with a “Hum” and then move on in the conversation.

It is more than just about infertility though. I pretty much just let them be uncomfortable with the answer since they don’t usually seem to think there is anything wrong with asking about our lack of children- ultimately our sex life.  Its been more than six years- at this point it just doesn’t make sense to be anything but blunt. 

I don’t like questions about my husband.  Weird, right?  I should probably specify that it isn’t general questions about him but when it comes to his deployment or our relationship status because of his deployment.  It annoys me to no end when women go online and carry on about their husbands being gone.  I understand it the first few days after they leave…even the first few days after they have to go back from their R/R leave…but six or seven months into a year or 18 month deploy…constantly…and then asking for others to join them (specifically asking me questions whose answers would essentially force me to join them) grates on my last nerve.  C’mon folks! Everyone doesn’t need to know every time you talk to him, or think about him, or someone references his name.  Everyone doesn’t need to know…period.  The Hubbs and I do talk– but not where everyone can see cause its none of their business.

Just like if I don’t know you I don’t want to know about your sex life- or lack thereof (this is definitely not in reference to any of the IF community because well- what is fertility without sex, right?).  I don’t want to know about your plans for him coming home or your body image as you dwell on him coming home.  Live life! Geez.  It is a private reunion and no one needs mental pictures about what you will- or will not be- wearing. 

The Hubbs asked me just a little bit ago why I had cut myself off from the FRG (Family Readiness Group) here while he is gone– and what I have written is a large part of the reason why that is.  I’d rather not know or participate in these activities if its just gonna be a complain-fest.  Same thing with connecting through social networks online- cause the majority of women who do participate pull that complaining into every aspect of the online world.  So my friend lists get shorter and I grow less annoyed…which can only benefit me even if my social circle is limited to just a few people here.

There isn’t a real point to this post…just letting out the annoyance.  Figured that I have this place and so I should probably use it instead of just bypassing.  Maybe I’ll be able to concentrate on my school work now.

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