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Contemplation…over a couple days

January 4, 2010

I am in kind of a conundrum.

I am honestly looking at making this blog of mine inactive. I’ve but so much time and feeling into it though and that kind of what makes me hesitant.  I mean I rarely post as it is and — again being honest– it isn’t like my readership is very  much.  I mean I see the stats and most of the hits come from one or two sites and most people just browse through.  On the other hand (again) it isn’t like I created this blog for other people.

Sometimes though I feel like what I’ve written I have written before and things are getting redundant.  Its like I can’t articulate whats really going on within with a different vocabulary than I have been using…

OK, so it has taken me a couple of days to get back to this because I drew a blank.

I have continued to think on the continuation of this blog- if I should just stop posting and leave it or if I should try and re-vamp in a way that will appeal to others.  Changing the main focus from me and my life to outside of myself with a couple of insights to me.

Or maybe I could just take a hiatus.  Wait until I get into San Antonio to start up the next step of our fertility journey.  It is kind of interesting that right at this moment it is more about the next step than the end result- which I suppose is to be expected when one has been trying for as long as we have. You know, San Antonio has yet to even call me for orientation, and I feel in the pit of my stomach that they will call in February- a time when we will be moving, getting settled, etc.  This delay is definitely not boding well for when we’ll actually get to see the doctor.  From the first referral they said Wilford Hall (the hospital there) had a six month waiting list- making the soonest they expected to have my initial doctor appointment May 2010.  Right now though that is just moving back and back because its required that  I do this orientation first.

I was just thinking that it would be awesome if they let me do orientation as I am passing through San Antonio on the way to our new post- that would be too convenient to happen though.

Anyway, as far as school goes I think that I am doing pretty well so far.  I aced my first two classes but now I am tackling  Analysis of World Literature (ENG200) and American Literature (ENG349)/  There is so much reading that I am a bit dumbfounded on where to begin!  To spite that I am looking forward to the classes.

That’s pretty much it- for now at least

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Allison permalink
    January 5, 2010 11:59 am

    For what it’s worth – I still read. 😉 Good luck with all your literature reading!

  2. January 5, 2010 3:00 pm


    My name is Elisabeth, and I am an infertility / repeated pregnancy loss “veteran”. You can read a little bit about me and my experiences in my (not very updated) blog: . I am completing a PhD in Counseling Psychology, and my dissertation is focused upon the impact of infertility on marriage. I believe strongly that there is a need for better support services for men and women who are undergoing IF diagnosis and treatment, and my hope is that this study will aid in the development of such services.

    I am contacting you after stumbling across your blog. I am recruiting participants for my study, and wanted to invite you and your husband to take part. All that would be involved would be the completion of an online survey, that would take approximately 20 minutes. All couples who complete the surveys will receive a voucher good for a pair of free movie tickets at a Regal Cinemas.

    Please let me know if you are interested by emailing me at . I have included the criteria for participation below.

    Feel free to pass information along to anyone you know who might be interested in contributing to this study.

    Best of luck to you!

    Member of a married, heterosexual couple
    Both you and your spouse are between the ages of 20 – 45
    You do not have any biological or adopted children living in your home
    You are not currently pregnant
    Either you, your spouse, or both has received an infertility diagnosis
    You have received treatment for infertility in the past six months, or plan to do so in the next six months
    Both you and your partner are willing to participate & have access to the internet

  3. January 9, 2010 7:16 pm

    I’m still here reading!

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