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You know…

November 9, 2009

You know how sometimes something in put into your life and it takes a few days to process?

Well I got a phone call from my mom last Thursday ( I believe it was) that put a rather difficult situation directly into my lap.

My Aunt O called my mom.  Her daughter (my cousin) A__ gave birth to a gorgeous baby boy in October- about two and a half weeks past his due date.  Everyone assumed things were going well but apparently my cousin is neglecting Little Man (LM for the rest of this post).  It came to my Aunt O’s attention when on Sunday (I think)  A__ called her at the last minute wanting her to babysit.  A__ wanted to go out and party.  Aunt O asked A__ what she would have done if she wasn’t available and A___ said (according to Auntie) that she would have just left him.

There in the house.. all by himself…

At this point the anger in me was a tightness in the center of my chest.  I don’t understand the mentality.  This is the cousin I mentioned at the beginning of the year who found out she was pregnant with twins by a man who is a married illegal alien while she was in jail for violating her parole.    One of the twins passed early on.

This statement brought to mind (for both my mom and my Aunt) instances where they saw A___ without LM.  There is at least one occation where no one knows with whom LM was while A___ was out visiting family.

Auntie asked A___ point blank about it and A___ said that if she (Auntie) wanted LM she could have him.  The father of LM said that if Auntie didn’t want him and A___ didn’t want him then he would send the baby to his mother in Mexico.

Catch all that?  Do you understand the feelings I had about the whole situation.

Anyway back to the story.  So Auntie called Mama and told her everything that had happened.  Auntie is already taking care of her other daughter’s children and can’t handle a baby right now.  She called Mama to ask her if she would be willing to take him in, but Mama is dealing with my sister being pregnant and having to live in a smaller house than they were in last year.  So Mama called me.

I’m sure you know what she asked.  I told her that I would have to talk to the Hubbs and when he came home we did talk about it.

We talked about if we wanted LM  just because we are so desperate to be parents and found that while it is there ( how can I deny that after trying all this time?) first and foremost is LM’s safety and future happiness.

So I called my Mama and told her that if A___ truly and honestly doesn’t want LM then we’ll bring him home with us when we go back for Thanksgiving.  We’ll have the papers drawn up for termination of rights.

Mama called me on Friday to let me know that she passed the info to Auntie  that we’d be willing if A___ is serious.  The only provision we have is that we will only take him if she completely terminates parental rights.  If she isn’t then Mama will take LM.

We can’t raise a child as our own with a cloud overhead.  Wondering if A___ is going to want him and be able to take him away.   My heart can’t handle that.  I am still not over Asiana being taken from us on a technicality.  I still wonder every day if she is okay…If she has friends…if she is enjoying kindergarten…if she is loved enough.

Auntie O was supposed to sit and talk with A___ over the weekend.  I am not sure what is going on at this point.  I am still a bit numb.  And now I am even more apprehensive about this trip home.



One Comment leave one →
  1. November 10, 2009 1:11 pm

    WOW. What a huge thing. I hope that this situation ends happily for everyone involved. ((HUGS))

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