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Clomid Round 5: Conclusion/Random

October 1, 2009

My doctor called and scheduled me for a beta draw tomorrow morning.  Just a few minutes ago I started spotting.

The kicker is that I still have to go get the beta done before I can get this last round of clomid.

That kind of leads into the news we got on Tuesday (just so you know).

October protocol is the same almost as last month: 150mg cycle days 5-9.

That will more than likely be the last cycle (though there is a chance that maybe we’ll get two or three additional cycles with different protocol).

November (probably the beginning) will be my lap.

December we probably will start packing and getting ourselves ready to move back to Georgia.

My husband was issued general orders on Tuesday and we’ll be going to Fort Stewart.  No report date as of yet but a window of January 2010-April 2010.

Georgia (at least when we left a couple years ago) doesn’t mandate infertility coverage which is why when we were there we were never able to do ARTs. So the next few months is the last hurrah so to speak.

I’m not going to dwell on that though because I will be near people I know.  2 hours from my best friends.  The Hubbs- his best friend was issued orders for Stewart and they will be there in November so he is REALLY looking forward to going back.  2 hours from our home church (less if we find something good south of the post).

After being so alone here in El Paso, I am more than ready to be near people who are excited that I am there.  Who want me in their lives.  People who care.

I didn’t quite realize how much until I went back these last couple of weeks.  It was good to wake up in the morning and knowing that I had something to look forward to and people to talk with and laugh with and even argue with.  I got to go with my best friend to try on bridesmaids dresses, help her size the most comfortable undergarments, take her measurements so her grandma could start sewing her dress.  We even had a “cake trial” which was so much fun (a huge FAIL but fun none the less). I went to church, worked on Sunday School bus, and got to do visitation.

While on this trip I cut out my dad and his wife from my life.  All the drama over all the years is just too much.  She wanted to “talk”  about the “issues” that was “driving a wedge in our relationship”.  We’ve never had a “relationship”.  Anyway, all that was code for “Let me tell you my altered version of history and inform you of how wrong you are”.  The woman began this “healing” talk by calling my Grandmother a liar.  Not wise to try and cut down the most important woman in my life. Continuing down that vein she then tells me that my Grandmother didn’t raise me even though she got me when I was 18 months and then again after my dad failed the second time.  She tells me that my Uncle (who hasn’t spoken to my grandma for 23 years) forced her to get my brother and myself.  After that she then informs me that my mother tried to kill both me and my brother while we were babies- which is so outrageous!  I don’t even know where she came up with that- if that’s what my dad told her to make himself look better in her eyes.  I don’t know.

Anyways, I told her and my father that I don’t need them in my life.  That I feel it best for my own personal well-being that I not involve them and their issues into my life.  I don’t need the frustration of being ignored when I reach out.  I have my family: my husband, my mother, my step-dad (who treats me as a father should treat his daughter), my Grandmothers, my siblings (even when they drive me crazy), Aunts/Uncles/cousins, and of course my nieces.  I have my friends who value me for what I am and who I am. People who don’t seem to set out to make me feel like less of a person, like the one at fault, etc.

You know, after those God awful 8 hours of listening to her try and justify her actions I feel at peace with my decision.  It seems like I have shed 50 tons off my back.  I can breathe.  It feels good.

So for now I guess that is everything! Well, a summary of everything—

but wait…

School.

So I was supposed to be starting school on the 28th only with the transcripts getting there I didn’t need that class. So I get a month- the 26th is when I start now.  In the first term I am taking on all of my English classes: ENG200, ENG201, ENG 25–something, and ENG3–something.  Its kind of late and my mind isn’t remembering the numbers.  I’m very excited to be jumping right into things! I’ll write more about that as the days go by I am sure!

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One Comment leave one →
  1. October 2, 2009 7:06 am

    Good for you in so many ways. 🙂 Those kinds of decisions almost always make me feel better too. It’s the frustration before them that’s the hardest. It’s almost like finding an end to the IF struggle. Then you can start healing in whatever way works.

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