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Defeated

August 25, 2009

That is how I am feeling today.

I know that at this point I must be sounding rather redundant but that is just where I am at this point.  That and family issues (more than just my sister)- which I’ll be writing about today.  Maybe at the end of this I’ll write about my cycle…maybe.

So I believe I’ve mentioned how my dad (the one I like- which would be my step-dad technically) has a non-functional kidneys and that we all got tested to see if any of us were potential donors.  It has been months since that day but the results finally came in: F___, my youngest brother, is the closest match.  They did additional testing to insure they would be completely compatible and all those results came back (far quicker than the initial testing.I suppose since its one instead of six – the Hubbs got tested as well just in case- that it is what should be expected).

So his surgery was scheduled for the end of this week.  Thing is that Medicare shut down the Kidney Center at my Dad’s hospital and transfered all their patients to another hospital whose kidney center was already overloads.  So now my Dad has to wait until November for a chance at surgery- even though they already have a match! So that is three more months of four day a week dialysis sessions. Three more months of living on what little he gets for his disability. Which brings on the next issue:

They (being government) have decided that they will not be giving cost-of-living increases for the next two years- which is essentially a cut.  On top of that they have “invented” some fee that my dad has supposedly not paid and so they’ve been taking a large chunk of what little he gets already.  Also piling on is the fact that they lowered the overall amount they issue him to spite the fact that with his dialysis schedule he absolutely cannot work a job.  I mean my dad in the last five years has had back surgery, emergency triple by-pass surgery, and now waiting on this kidney transplant.  To say he is disabled is almost an understatement.  Anyway, because of this my  parents now have to find a house where they can afford the rent.  Lord only knows where that will be.

More great news that I just found out is that my Grandpa (the only one still alive) is being tested for cancer.  He already has Parkinson’s. They (being my step-grandma) have tried to down play it but actions do indeed speak louder than words.  She is getting things in order- legal matters- and tried to get my mom to give up her rights to inherit!  Anyway, that is just more drama.

Side Note: You know with five branches of family(My Dad’s side, Mom’s Side, Step-Dad’s Side, Step-mother’s side and Husband’s side) to deal with there is always family drama in my life-sigh.

So  my Mama is preparing herself to have to travel to Puerto Rico dependent of course on what happens with my Grandpa’s biopsy.

My step-brother is still doing Chemo for the leukemia. I can’t imagine what he is going through. I called and left a message on his phone- I called while he was out of the room- and am waiting patiently for a return call.  I am hoping that there is some progress.

A ray of sunshine does break through the clouds however because I just got a phone call that my brother in law (who got into trouble for stupid decision about a year ago) went to court this morning and they are only sentencing him to 18 months probation (I am hoping they’ll give him credit for time served because that would mean he’d be free completely in December) after which his sentence would be expunged and the records sealed!  Whew.  We were all tense about that- worried they’d make him go to jail.  So at the end of tis probation he’s going to sign up for the Army.  That and I should be getting more pictures of Jaelyn.  He told me that she has kept all of her hair (which is substantial) and that she is developing rather quickly!

This cycle I think is a bust as well.  This morning I woke up with my customary back pain and low cramping, so I think the only thing keeping the witch away is the progesterone suppositories.

Can’t say that I am surprised in the least.  Ah well, beta in 3 days.

I spoke to my mother-in-law after I talked to my brother-in-law.  Of course she asked about us having kids so I just came out and told her that I am barren.  She thought I was joking so was like “No really…”.  So I told her I wasn’t kidding but I made clear to her that it isn’t anything to do with the Hubbs- that he’s just fine.  I think she was shocked.  All she said was “Well as long as you two have each other you should be happy”.  I know the truth and she is telling it, but it did make me cringe a bit.  It stung.

Well, at least that is one more person off my back.  It’s just another one who’ll look at me with pity.

Sigh

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