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Clomid Round 4/ A Bit of Everything

August 13, 2009
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So I totally know that I haven’t updated in awhile.  Honestly, I do write for myself but I am motivated by readers.  Lately, I haven’t had the gumption to sit down and write down my thoughts.

That and I finished the knit basket-weave baby blanket I made for my friends baby.  I have to still get some thin batting and sew the liner on- which shouldn’t be too difficult.  Also still trying to figure out the best way to make the sling I sewed have a bit more give at the joining seam so that as she pulls it over her head she has some give at the hip.

I also started on the Maikell Shawl with bead-work.  I have a gorgeous purple yarn and though I am just barely into the pattern I am loving how it knits up.

So about this cycle.  Same protocol as before (Clomid days 5-9 then suppositories in the luteal phase).  I have my beta draw on the 28th of this month.  Am I optimistic… no not really.  I am just going through one step at a time.

Something I am a bit conflicted about is the telling my mom about what has been going on with the treatments, testing etc.  Not only for the fibro, CFS, and the various other issues, but for the infertility part as well.  I am glad I told her because now she doesn’t ask about kids, but not glad that when others ask she informs them of my barren-ness.  I feel odd knowing that slowly but surely word is getting out and I see pity when my  family members look at me.  I don’t like the feeling, which is why it took over four and a half years for me to anything to anyone about our issues.

Along the same lines of people taking notice of me: my hubby’s co-workers are wondering if I got a boob job.  They straight up asked The Man if I’d had an operation because the girls are larger.  I know they are bigger and believe me they certainly haven’t been below the notice of The Man but now I am uncomfortable knowing that other people have taken notice.  Gotta love meds.

Have I mentioned that the inclusion of fertility meds means that I have four that have weight gain as side effects and two that are appitite suppresants? Basically, I am putting on the weight and barely eatting anything at all.  I don’t consciously miss meals I just don’t think about them and I end up having one smallish meal- maybe two- a day.

General feeling about our chances of being parents biologically is that it is still low.  I should be getting a lap next cycle- which is probably not going to have protocol since I am going out of state the last couple weeks. At this point I don’t see a baby born to us.  I can’t even fathom a positive beta draw.

So traveling is going to be playing a big part of my (our) lives over the next seven and a half months or so.  In September Beebee is due to enter the world.  My window is open from 12September (I have this phobia now of flying on 9/11) to 5October because of appointments already on the books.  In that window I am ready to fly as soon as K tells me she is in labor/getting induced OR I’ll fly out the 21Sept or so since she is due 26Sept and stay a couple of weeks.

During the time I am there I will be running around with my very best friend, M,  in the whole wide world getting stuff ready for her wedding.  She got engaged last Monday and is the last of us girls to get married.  I love her fiance (I giggle whenever I say it) like a brother.  I always wanted to have a great relationship with my friends spouses since we all plan in the future to vacay together.  With K- well my relationship with her spouse isn’t.  The man gets on my last nerve (mostly due to his attidude about Beebee coming).  With C, I love her hubby like a brother as well- especially since he is M’s brother.

Ok, if anyone knows where to get a fantabulous wedding dress pattern then all reccomendations are accepted.  M’s grandmother will be making her dress as soon as we can find the right pattern and quite frankly I wouldn’t doubt that between the two of us we have looked at hundreds of different patterns.

My vision for her wedding: Sheath dress with layered lace overlay.  Her hair done in the style of Billy Holliday with flowers in her hair instead of a veil.  She has very red hair and I think it would be pretty.  Right now she is looking at empire waisted A-line with a small train.  So if any of you have a link for either one of those styles I’d really appreciate it!

Her wedding is going to be March 13, 2010 so we have about 210 days to get everything done.  We already have location (one of our friend’s parents have a gorgeous and large front lawn). So while I am there in Sept we are gonna price tents, chairs, linens, tables, dance floor, etc.  There are several women who have volunteered to cook for the reception as a gift to her so that’s cool- we just have to look into renting the warmer setup.

I had an AWESOME disc jockey for my wedding so I have already called him to set up an inital appointment for her to go over what she would like music-wise.  How awsome is he?  He got a several hundred dollar tip when he left our wedding- collected during the evening by my family.   M is all about ballroom (her fiance-D_ is going to start going to classes with her next week to prep) so this is a definite necessity.  D_ isn’t so glad about it but he is still willing so that is good.   I have already gotten in touch with another friend who happens to do handmade invites (She did the invites for my niece’s baby shower and they were sooo pretty) and am waiting on a sample and quote from her.

Can you tell I am the matron of honor? Can y0u tell how excited I am?

M is working two jobs at this point to save for paying for the things that need paying for even though right now they are doing well (since she got the 2nd job when they started talking about getting married so she could have cash to put aside).

OHH.. I forgot  to say that he proposed on their 1 year anniversary. They are gonna have a great engagement story to tell.  I don’t.  We just one day(I have no idea when) in the course of conversation to get married.  Then I woke up from a nap one day(dont’ know that day either) and found my engagement ring on my finger.  That is it.We don’t really know when our “dating anniversary” is because that was a step that happened really gradually. Anyway back to what I was saying:

All that I have to do while keeping K comfortable and being ready to head to the hospital when the time is go.  K is wanting at this point to do the running around with us so we’ll take her if she is still up to it when it gets down to things.  I am also going to make sure that clothes are cleaned and put up as well as taking stuff she gets from he showers out of boxes and situated. I know K and the boxes will stay unopened until she feels like getting to it- which could be years down the road! I am not even joking.  They moved into the house they are in at this point about three and a half years ago  and only just emptied their spare room of boxes (and that only happened because she got pregnant and had to make room for Beebee (their room is small and wouldn’t hold a crib or even a bassinet).

I found out when I told hubby about M’s wedding that we may be moving!  The lock on transfers is being lifted in Novemeber and he has the chance to hopefully get a new assignment!  I would love that since I am more than a little bit fed up with his unit. Anyway, so that could very possibly mean a move in Nov, Dec, Jan or Feb.  We are hoping to either Oaklahoma or Tennesse/Kentucky.

Sometime between Jan and the beginning of March I am going to have to go back to Florida for M’s bridal shower (no way I can miss that!).  Then back again in March for the wedding itself.

Did I mention that in May/June is going to be our 10 year High School reunion (we graduated June 2, 2000- a day before M’s birthday)?

My brother has been sworn into the U.S. Army and will be leaving for boot camp in Oaklahoma (which is where my friend A and her hubby will be posted after he is done with Drill Sgt school in October) on 15 Sept.  So in November I’ll be staying with them so that I can go to my bro’s graduation. I am trying to prep both he and my sister in law about what they can expect.  Also giving them tips on the best way to get things done and spending less money to do it.

We’ll see how that particular cookie crumbles as the time goes by.  Im worried about how SIL is going to handle Lil Bro being away for such a long period of time.

Ok, this is certainly long enough for just one entry- that and I am going to go make myself something small to eat for lunch.

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