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Just Thoughts

June 7, 2009

I have been wanting to make a post for a few days now.  I don’t know where my time goes because I swear it seems like a flash from when I wake up til when I go to sleep.

I know I always say that, but its true.

So whats going on here?  As you can probably tell from the title I am not really doing much of anything fertility wise at this point in time.  In fact, I haven’t had an appointment since CD3.

I did have my acupuncture and amazingly things have really kind of improved- which is always a good thing.  The only odd thing is that most of my bad spots/pain was on my right side.  Its like the spots decided to move.

And I finally got in my laser appointment. I had to keep postponing because of where I was in my cycle- the original appointment for this session was 10 April! So it was rather interesting. I called after my acupuncture appointment to see if perhaps they had any cancellations so that I wouldn’t have to drive home just to leave an hour later for the other side of town.  Unfortunately, they didn’t so I did precisely that: went home, let the dogs out to play for an hour then hit pre-rush hour traffic (you know what I am talking about- those people who take off early on Fridays) to get to the other side of town.

So I get there and find out that they have a new laser! See I am doing full leg and bikini line (woot!) and normally it takes awhile- like a hour and a half longer than what it took this time around.  My usual lady couldn’t do my appointment because she was told that she already had too many hours this past week, so I had a new lady.  Well she’s been there for a few months but I haven’t been- so she is new to me.

There is always time for chit-chat while going through the treatment. I suppose most experience some level of pain, but to me its like a warm washcloth so I have no problem yakin it up- especially when the Man is gone and I have lots of words!  So she was telling me that after me she had her first genitals appointment and she was really kind of scared about it.   I totally understand where she is coming from- it isn’t that difficult to do a Brazilian on a woman, but there are significant differences in doing male genitals. I mean, with women we feel the zap but usually its not like we get aroused.  Guys on the other hand…well.. that’s a whole lot of “stimulation” if ya know what I mean (and I know that you do).  Anyway, so we thought that we had finished early enough that I wouldn’t have to run into this particular gentleman but we were wrong.  The man decided to come early! AWKWARD!

But funny just the same.

That is pretty much all that’s happened on this end.  I know! What an exciting life I lead!

Mentally, (we are gonna do a quick left turn here to a previously discussed topic from earlier on in this post- just a warning) as far as this cycle goes I am kinda there and not there. I am not thinking about what my temps are doing, what my ferning is doing, or when I’ll ovulate.  I kind of just go through the motions at this point as far as the “technical” goes; however, the other day while I was driving I completely zoned out for a second when I passed an empty playground (that is just accross in the next neighborhood).  Good thing I can drive home on autopilot.  I was just imagining a little girl of mine.  I am not sure if it has to do with  wishing for a future daughter (which I don’t really think is it since I would be happy with any healthy-or unhealthy even- pregnancy and a live baby) or if it has to do with Asiana (which I am thinking is more likely).

I would like to say that I don’t  know what brought it on but then I would be lying.  I know that the probability is that since she was the closest I’ve had to being a mother that these random daydreams would of course be of her instead of a baby we’ve never seen.  I suppose that a part of my heart is still trying to reconcile that we probably won’t even see her again (as I doubt her grandmother is going to let her call- even though she has our number).  I just worry about her out there in a foreign country and how she is coping with her grandmother.  She should be starting school as well.  Sigh.

Anyway, I am off to spend my Sunday watching the Disney Channel.

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