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How did I know he was “the One”?

March 9, 2008

My younger brother T called me last night and we talked for a good two hours.  It was good to talk to him because he hasn’t called me in a while.  See (like with my male friends) when they are doing something they shouldn’t be doing or dating someone they shouldn’t be dating–they don’t call me.  Why?  They all say the same thing.  They know it’s not right and they know I will tell it like it really is–and they’d rather not hear it.  Call me a conscience in the flesh– and I am proud of the fact that this is part of who I am.  They all know it comes from a place of love though cause frankly–if I don’t like you I couldn’t care less if you choose to screw up your life (unless of course it will in some way affect mine–then I’ll say something but not be really nice about it either).

Anyway, it was a good thing to talk to him.  To hear *how* he spoke to me gave me the realization that he’s finally ready to be a responsible adult at the age of 23.

He asked me how I knew Hubby was the one for me.

I thought it would be interesting to record my whys (and this will show what a book nerd, sentimentalist, romantic that I am inside).

My favorite author is Jane Austen.  My “dream” man is Mr. Darcy.  In my head Mr Darcy was tall, dark-haired, blue eyed.  He is strong, decisive, responsible, loyal and able to change when proven wrong or a better way is presented.

Odd huh?

How does that pertain to my husband? Well, without the physical characteristics–he is all those things (for the most part–hes not so partial to change).  And for a long time the physical aspects were the main aspects– a type so to speak.

It’s almost needless to say that I rarely felt the inclination to date many guys and in my teen years (not counting my hubby) I only dated three guys (one guy repeatedly–but thats another story for another day) because not many can fit the type in my head.

But each of those guys–while they met some aspect of my physical leanings– sorely lacked in the characteristic ones.

The second way–

While I had plenty of guys tell me I was beautiful– my husband is the only one who never told me (odd huh?).   The thing though is that Hubby—always made me feel beautiful and I never felt the need for him to have to tell me.

So to spite the faults that he does have– I love the man more than any other in the world(except for Grandma–but thats a different kind of love).

My brother was a little quiet for a bit—I think we’ll talk more on the subject soon which I am more than happy to do with him.

I love that we can talk this way—that he trusts me enough to ask for advice and respects me enough to take it to heart.

So… if you are so inclined, Dear Reader, drop me a comment (I haven’t gotten many lately) and let me know how you knew your “One”!

6 Comments leave one →
  1. March 9, 2008 9:37 am

    Very cute Mel! I love Mr. Darcy too!!!!!!! He’s my absolute favorite Jane Austen hero. aaaaaw.

    I was very very like you throughout my dating life. I dated very few people b/c I never saw the need to date just to have a boyfriend, and I never told someone I loved them if I didn’t. I was keenly aware of what love was and didn’t want to sully it by proclaiming my love to just anyone. I was also very picky about who I dated. 🙂 I wanted someone good dammit and that’s that.

    DH was all that and a bag of chips for me. I fell in love with his wit, intelligence, caring, sweetness and sense of fun. He’s also adorable, which didn’t hurt. (I don’t know if you remember me saying that he’s Filipino too)

    He makes me feel beautiful inside and out all the time. He made me feel stronger, more confident and completely loved. And I wanted to make him feel the same way. That’s how I knew he was the one. 🙂

    Good idea!

  2. March 9, 2008 8:45 pm

    Wow. That is a loaded question. How did I know Zeno was the one? I am a farily high strung person. Zeno is a very laid back person. When I get wound up, he’s just chill. I always said that being around my husband was easy. I said that he made me feel relaxed. I liked that he had sooo much Zenness that it spilled over to me. To some (an admittedly lesser) extent, that is still true today. My husband is also fairly honest. I liked it that he was very cut and dry about problems and realities. He didn’t mince or waste words. I’m not as fond of this characteristic as I was then… especially since now I realize that he’s that way even when he’s wrong. 😉 I guess I knew he was the one for me when he got *really* sick the first time and I had no thoughts of leaving.

  3. Karen permalink
    March 10, 2008 7:46 pm

    When DH and I first started dating I found a lump in my breast. My mom had breast cancer on the younger side and so my doctor was fairly concerned. I ended up needing a biopsy, which was negative, but through a couple of nerve wracking weeks DH stood by me the whole time even though we hadn’t been dating that long. He didn’t even waver. That’s how I knew. He’s truly the best man I’ve ever met. He didn’t fit my “type” at all. He’s “rough around the edges” but that didn’t matter to me once I saw his heart.

    And on top of that he can make me laugh until I pee even when I’m completely miserable or pissed at him. I’m pretty uptight and he’s the only one who can do that. Loyal and funny. What more could I ask for?

  4. adoptivedad permalink
    March 12, 2008 9:14 am

    Well, speaking from a male perspective, if you can find one that’s able to change his mind then that is great going. We’re not that good at being wrong, for some reason.

    BTW I tagged you. All the best

  5. goofygoffin permalink
    March 13, 2008 11:08 am

    What a great post! How did I know he was the one? I’ve never really been able to answer that question solidly with one answer… I just knew. I was 18 and I knew I wanted to be with him forever. My parents objected, friends and family objected; they all thought I was young and my feelings were ‘misplaced.’ But I knew! Ten years later, we’re stronger than ever and still looking forward to what will come.

    My favorite Austen man… Mr Darcy of course! A close second would be Edward Ferrars.

  6. geohde permalink
    March 14, 2008 3:24 am

    How did I know my spouse was the right one? He was simply a nice, nice human being. SImple!


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