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Tyra Tyra Tyra

January 11, 2008

Shame on you. 

Like many in the IF bloggin community I have sent my own email in reference to her upcoming show schedule…..

For posterity here is the email I sent Tuesday 08 January 08

This email is really in reference to an upcoming show(s) that I have read about on your show’s (the talk show) site:


Do you know a woman who is obsessed with becoming a mom? Have you seen and heard her struggle for years, felt her unvoiced jealously and seen her desperation first hand? Have you watched silently for too long as she gets her hopes up only to be disappointed and heartbroken when she can’t conceive? Has she tried extreme methods and spent a lot of money to get pregnant with no luck? Do you want to finally tell her she needs to stop the emotional and physical stress on her body and seriously consider adoption or a surrogate alternative? If you know a woman who is obsessed with becoming a mom and getting pregnant


Do you know a woman who wants to be a mother so badly she’ll stop at NOTHING to conceive? Is she in her late 30s or early 40s and everyone around her is a mom, leaving her depressed and desperate? Or is she even younger and convinced her biological clock is ticking and is fixated on getting pregnant without a husband? Do you worry she’s going to extremes to get pregnant that are bound to backfire and destroy her or her relationship? Is she secretly charting her cycle and sabotaging her birth control? Is she intentionally having unprotected sex with her boyfriend but he has no idea she’s stopped taking her pill? Is she secretly poking holes in condoms to increase her chances? Is she going so far as having unprotected sex with multiple partners hoping to get pregnant? Does she want to be a mom so badly she’s shopping sperm online? Are you concerned about a woman who is so desperate to have a baby she’ll go to any extreme and want Tyra’s help for your friend or family member, if so, then SUBMIT BELOW.
Please do not submit unless you are willing to appear on “The Tyra Banks Show”.


Are you a woman in the NYC Tri-state area currently about to begin or currently undergoing aggressive fertility treatments? Would you be willing to video tape yourself and take us through your experience-the highs and the lows, from the shots to the doctor visits? If you have previously struggled with fertility and are willing to share your journey toward successful motherhood

I am a relatively healthy woman who is 25 years old.  My husband a member of active duty Army and is 27 years old.  We are infertile.  It doesn’t only happen to women in their late 30 or early 40’s. There is huge world out there of infertility and so many different causes from PCOS, to low ovarian reserve, to low motility (in men), genetic issues , etc etc etc.   I am writing to you in hopes that during these shows you really do the research–read the blogs of women going through this, talk to the RESOLVE organization (, talk even to Dr. Liccaridi who is a very well know reproductive endocrinologist in NYC (  This is such a sensitive issue that is totally mis-understood by the general population.  I am sure that you are aware that Oprah did a show similar to this and came off as condemning the Infertile couple for doing what they could to have a biological child. 


I am hoping that you are sensitive to the journey’s of the women to come forward to share and make aware about this issue. That you (and your staff) do not simply tell them to “relax” or “just adopt” or the stories of a friend of a friend who did such and such and it worked.  Be understanding of what it takes to get to the point of IVF—emotionally, physically and financially.  Adoption is a good thing and I am all for it- but it is not for everyone.  Some people know themselves and know the importance to themselves of biology.  It also helps to consider that the world’s needy children are not the sole responsibility of the infertile.  Those who say “just adopt” often have no intention of doing it themselves because they have their own children at home that they had no problems conceiving (or perhaps even an OOPS pregnancy) OR they don’t want children themselves at all.   I look forward to seeing these shows and have the greatest hope that you will not go the way of Oprah–because your all about helping the woman love herself.

As of today I have not recieved a reply—and somehow I don’t think that I will.

It’s sad they would put a woman who is already having so much go on in her life go through an “ambush” from people who don’t understand. 

6 Comments leave one →
  1. January 12, 2008 8:10 am

    Yeah, that’s pretty infuriating. The show SHOULD be asking for women who finally want to confront their friends and families for all of their insensitive and thoughtless comments about pregnancy. It SHOULD be a forum for women who’ve struggled to get pregnant to articulate how they are living with a trauma which is only made worse by those who tell them they need to “get over it” and move on…
    If I EVER, EVER had a friend who told me it was time to stop – she’d immediately be removed from my life. Only the woman (or couple) knows when enough is enough.

  2. January 12, 2008 4:22 pm

    Great email!!!!

  3. January 13, 2008 8:58 am

    UGH!!! So. Mad. Don’t. Know. How to respond.
    Might have to marinate on this for awhile …

  4. Tracy permalink
    January 13, 2008 2:25 pm

    Way to go on your email. They need to hear it. IF does need more publicity, but not of the negative kind.

  5. January 15, 2008 4:42 pm

    I was so angry after reading this post that I went to Tyra’s website to write my own email expressing my disgust at the ambush approach to covering infertility, but I didn’t see the descriptions you posted listed on her page of upcoming show topics (or maybe I’m just not seeing it). Perhaps it was removed because of emails like yours? Hope so!

  6. geohde permalink
    January 18, 2008 11:38 pm

    Right on. Well said, every word.

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