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Venturing down a Dark Alleyway

November 2, 2007

Let me move on from my normal trying-to-be-chipper posts for just a moment. 

It is my own fault that I even looked at the “waiting to test” board over on Fertility Friend, but I did and now I am frustrated so I am gonna jot it all down here.

To Those of you who are New to the Journey of TTC–  a word?  if you don’t mind?

Remember that you are new to this whole thing and there are those of us who have been at it alot longer than any would have ever thought.  When you ask a question don’t expect sunshine and daisies.  The answer you get is something we probably have experienced for multiple cycles– by multiple I mean more than 12.  Don’t call a person unsupportive for telling you the truth because it doesn’t sound like something you want to consider.  Remember that its not real support when they tell you what you want to hear instead of the actual answer to your question.

Remember the word: Moderation.  If you like chocolate, a glass of wine with dinner, a cup of coffee in the morning.  GO AHEAD! 

To You who “skip the line”

Yeah, you know who you are.  You should be ashamed of yourself.  There are women who truely need the services of an RE who have paid their waiting time dues (be it the six months or the twelve) who are now having to wait longer because you decided to clog up the system.  I understand the worry that comes at three months and four months.  Really.  No lie.  I’ve been there.   Seriously though that is still within the relm of normal.  Yeah you heard the stories of the uber-fertile- toss the pills and gets pregnant the first month.  That isn’t the norm people.   Normal is 12 months.  Thats not just an “insurance” thing.  This is not addressing those of you dealing with real issues that affect your fertility– this is for those who are suffering from the entitlement mentality of “I want this right now, since it didn’t happen yesterday I am gonna lie to the Doctor”.  If you have medical concerns– tell the truth.  If you don’t like the answer get a second opinion and even a third.

The world of the infertile sucks.  The meds, the poking, the proding, the loss of privacy– is not something you should want to deal with unless you have to.

Realize that even a 35 day cycle is within normal.  There are a small amount of women who are textbook.  If you are consistantly at 35 days… then that is your norm– it does not consistute “irregular cycles”.

To those who have achieved pregnancy:

Hey we are happy for you.  We wish you the best.  A little consideration never hurt any one either.  Seven months… not a long time.  It is still within the relm of normal.  That doesn’t warrent the use of the word “finally”.  Put it on your homepage, in your buddy group, on your ticker- sure its your perogative.  On a public message board where there are women who are trying for YEARS –its like a slap in the face.  Yeah you don’t see it too often because those who came before you have shoved most of us into hiding.  Which is a shame since the knowledge we have gleaned over the years will have certainly helped others.

OHH and another thing.  When you get you positive- the place to ask question about your pregnancy isn’t on the trying to concieve side.  We can’t empathize with you or even answer your questions–because “WE AREN’T PREGNANT”.  Thanks for making us very aware of that fact.

OHHHHHH and one more thing–your blinkies.  Like the one that proudly boasts of creating a human life and askin “what have you done today?” Here’s a newsflash for ya. 

You.  Are. NOT. Doing. A. Thing.

There is nothing you can do to continue the development of the child growing inside of you.  Your body has a program it follows automatically to sustain that life.  Stop taking credit for God’s work.

Ok… Im done.. there is so much more to say in my head but I don’t want to particualarly continue this post.  I need some coffee.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. November 2, 2007 12:09 pm

    My favorite part of your rant:

    “There is nothing you can do to continue the development of the child growing inside of you. Your body has a program it follows automatically to sustain that life. Stop taking credit for God’s work.”

    Well Said! Standing Ovation!

  2. November 2, 2007 12:42 pm

    So many (well meaning) people can be inconsiderate or simply naive when communicating with those who are experiencing the unique world of infertility. Thanks for “courtesy 101”!

  3. geohde permalink
    November 2, 2007 5:58 pm

    Hear hear.

    I’ve just had my 5th coffee of the day….


    DO I think it’s the cause of my IVf failures? Urm, no!


  4. November 3, 2007 10:27 am

    Oh yeah … I so needed to read this today as I lie in bed clutching my tummy and suffering from my favorite time of the month. Thanks for the rant!!

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