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Pain, Visiting and Music Time-travel

August 15, 2007

So I am taking another break.  This tiredness is killing me. I have been doing really good health wise lately and it figures that when my Grandma is coming and I want to be well I feel like crap.

I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome.  I get tested for lupus every three months because I have sooo many of the symptoms that they are really just waiting for the last two to develop….comforting isn’t it?

Anyway, I try not to focus on things too much.  I freaked out when my fertility testing came back normal but my other numbers didn’t!  Go figure.  Then they said the word “lupus”.  See at the time my DH has just been deployed to Kuwait…as in he left two weeks before I had my inital testing done.  My good friend was gone visiting her family cause her hubby was getting ready to start his deployment to Afghanistan.  My best friend was not answering her phone.  My grandma didn’t answer her phone,my mom,  my dad, even my step-mother (who is the last person in the world that I would ever call so thats how desperate I was to just TALK to someone) and no one picked up their phones.  I felt so ALONE and I couldn’t handle it.

When my Grandma called me back (she was the first one) the poor lady had to listen to me sobbing about being alone, then sobbing about the testing. It was good though because when Hubby got to call a few days later I was calm and was able to assure him that at that point I was well enough and he didn’t need to ask for some family leave.  The plus though is that his 1ssgt let him call me more often to check in and see where I was on testing and let him use the phone during my doctor appointments (when it was feasible) so he would know what was going on. Now that I have a name for what is going on with me and we are monitoring the whole lupus situation I just do what I am supposed to do (and the damn “don’t do” list is what got to me the most)–things are good.  Until I have a flair up and then I am just misrible.  Like today… my pain is getting to be unmanageable but if I take the meds I am supposed to take when it gets like this then I won’t be coherent enough to get my Grandma or hang with her today…but I’ll definately be taking it before I go to bed..cause if not I won’t be able to sleep and Hubby won’t be able to touch me.  Can’t have that!  I haven’t ovulated yet so touching is absolutely necessary!

Anyway, I am sitting here cleaning and chillin to 90’s music.  How about I feel old just listening to the early stuff – singing along to songs I haven’t heard in YEARS.  I am not that old either.. Im only goin to be 25 this year!!  Interesting the changes in music though.  Yesterday I was listening to some big band and swing tunes and the day before that was classic jazz.

Music is a wonderful thing in and of itself, but add time travel to the list of qualities!

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