Comments on: I Need Help

By: Cindy Nguyen

Cindy Nguyen — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 16:49:54 +0000

how about a music box, with baby’s initials on it.

By: Beth

Beth — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 06:59:02 +0000

http://www.sarahs-laughter.com has something called a Butterfly Bag that is great for someone who loses a baby. It has a cd in it as well as a dvd, butterfly pin to wear in honor of the baby, some other really neat stuff. Everything they do is from a Christian perspective.

By: Kim

Kim — Sat, 17 May 2008 22:47:23 +0000

Some great ideas have been shared here for keepsakes. I lost a baby at 23 weeks and I wish I had more to remember her by. We did have some pictures taken after I delivered her. I sent one of the pictures to an artist who did a beautiful drawing. It is realy nice to have this to display because she was born so early. The few things I have mean so much to me. I think your friend will really appreciate any type of keepsake and you are so nice to think of doing that for her. Also, there are some good websites out there for support, as I know she will need that after her loss. Best wishes!

By: Freyja

Freyja — Thu, 15 May 2008 15:44:19 +0000

I have no clue. But I wanted you to know I think you’re a real sweetie for wanting to do something.

By: tash

tash — Thu, 15 May 2008 00:53:08 +0000

Hey, here from FL/CA — I’m not exactly in the same boat as I didn’t know my child was going to die, but I really admire your wanting to do something for the baby, and wanting to do it right. I actually love, love, love the above suggestion for making something in a pair; a pair of blankets, a pair of hats, a pair of booties.

Also, you might want to tell her about Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, a volunteer organization of photographers who will photograph you and your baby free of charge. The pictures are incredibly good, and it’s nice that someone else is doing this so the family can spend all its time in front of the lens with the baby. I wish I knew about this organization, so I’m trying to let everyone else know. You could look up a photographer in your area and coordinate everything (with your friend’s permission, obviously), and maybe even donate money to them in the baby’s honor.

Most of all, you can be there for her afterwards. Just to listen, or stay with her in silence, just to be. You’re so lovely to think of this. Best wishes to the both of you.

By: kalakly

kalakly — Thu, 15 May 2008 00:26:29 +0000

Hi here from lost and found.
When my son was stillborn the thing I most treasured was memorial keepsake jewelry. I have some links up on my blog for it if you want to take a look. Also, a care basket for the hospital might be a nice thing for her. There is a group “Now I lay me Down to Sleep”(you can find them on the web) that will arrange to have a photographer come (usually free) and take photos of the baby and the famliy, you could put a card in for them, some things to dress her in or small stuffed animals to be photgraphed with. You could also add a nice hand/footprint kit with nice cardstock so they can make cards with her feet/handprints.
And lots of nice kleenex, hankies so they won’t have to use the icky hospital ones to wipe the tears.
Your a good friendd to be so thoughtful. You’d be amazed at how insensitive people can be when a tragedy like this happens.

By: Julia

Julia — Thu, 15 May 2008 00:03:44 +0000

As others have said, this is very individual. Ask your friend. Tell her you are thinking of her, and want to make something that will be of comfort to her. Maybe offer her a few choices– a blanket for the baby. They can take pictures with it, and they can choose to bury her with it or to keep it as a keepsake. A birthstone pendant sounds lovely too. Several other ideas here. Maybe even a hand-decorated photo album. Some candles. The point, though, is that it should be of comfort to your friend, so gaging her reaction is most important. The surprise? Not so much.

By: Jen

Jen — Wed, 14 May 2008 22:07:27 +0000

What if you made two little matching hats? One for the baby and one for her to keep as a keepsake. Or something else in a pair.

By: T.

T. — Wed, 14 May 2008 21:02:34 +0000

Do you know when the baby will be born? A charm or a pendant with a birthstone would be something she could wear always.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Wed, 14 May 2008 17:34:08 +0000

my son had anencephaly & things like picture frames were nice, stuffed animals, jewelry with my sons name I cherish!

By: geohde

geohde — Wed, 14 May 2008 07:25:06 +0000

Had I gone to term with my pregnancy with anencephaly, I think I would have just wanted to know my friends were there. Something for the baby would have been too bittersweet.

But it’s very individual,

By: Emily

Emily — Wed, 14 May 2008 04:58:39 +0000

There are a few patterns (both crochet and knit) for baby burial blankets. I know it sounds strange and sad … but perhaps the thought of burying (or even cremating, whatever they decide) their child with something made by you would bring them some comfort.

I also like the idea of a charm. My SIL (who just recently loss her 4 mo old premie son) and her Hubby also bought matching bracelets to remember their son by.

Just thoughts …

By: gbbgrandma

gbbgrandma — Wed, 14 May 2008 03:34:31 +0000

I lost my daughter when she was 20 and I buried her baby blanket with her. If the baby doesn’t survive, a beautiful blanket could be used for burial. I’m just talking from a mom’s point of view, but rgw loss of a child is totally different for everyone.

By: WaterBishop

WaterBishop — Tue, 13 May 2008 20:07:44 +0000

I agree with PP. Maybe a blanket, or a charm of some sort. Wish I had some good suggestions.

By: Erin

Erin — Tue, 13 May 2008 19:58:05 +0000

I agree with the previous posts…

I would make her something that could be a keepsake. Whether her little one survives or not… I think she would like something to remind her of what a wonderful gift that little baby was/is.

By: 1120kat

1120kat — Tue, 13 May 2008 19:46:34 +0000

I agree with Lizzy….something like that or a Prayer Shawl…as you think of her and her baby, then she could wrap her baby in it if she survives, or could wrap herself in it as she mourns, as if you were there hugging her.

What a difficult point of life…I’m so sorry for your friend, and I love that you’re doing something for her

By: Lizzy

Lizzy — Tue, 13 May 2008 19:36:39 +0000

I agree, too, that it would be nice. What to make, however, that’s a tough one. I had a friend who lost a baby due to a heart defect. She had difficulty with baby gifts she’d already received. Another friend suffered a m/c while I was making her a blanket she knew about and she asked me specifically not to give her the blanket.

Some kind of keepsake would be nice or something for her. Maybe a nice throw that could be used as a large baby blanket if they have a miracle, which shows that you believe in miracles, but something that isn’t an obvious baby item that could be used to comfort your friend when she needs it, sort of like your way of wrapping your arms around her.

By: Jamie

Jamie — Tue, 13 May 2008 19:30:05 +0000

I think I would definitely give her something. You’re right – a gift card would be too impersonal. If it were me, I would like something I could keep as a keepsake.