Im So Irritated
Ok so I think I mentioned a few posts back that my sister in law and her husband have finalized their adoption of two babies (who are siblings but about 11 months apart in age) the week before Thanksgiving. These two are our new (actually only) niece and nephew and I am very excited to hopefully get to meet them in May 08 if we can go back for a visit.
So why am I irritated?
My other sister in law (we’ll call her 2of3 since she is second of three SIL’s) has ringo and she posted some pictures of Thanksgiving with 1of3 (SIL who adopted). She titled all of the pics with the baby “the Adopted Child”. That soo rubs me the wrong way.
How about using their names? Or show a family relation to the kids?
Hubby left her a comment – kind of slightly, in a round about way, reminding her that she was an Aunt now.
She says “Well I guess….but not really”
WTF?! NOT REALLY? Just because they are adopted? Those kids are as much apart of our family than any other biological child!
I am hoping that we can adopt in a few years…(since it will take us that long to save the money) and I want that child to be accepted as part of his family (and mine as well–but I know mine doesn’t have a problem with adoption). It breaks my heart (and admittedly makes me want to slap 2of3) that she doesn’t view the babies as truely part of the family.
I sincerely hope that she changes her mind and her heart before the babies remember it and before ours come into the picture.
guess she is one of those people who doesn’t view adopted children as their parents’ “real” child. OMG this makes me more mad than anything else i’ve discovered on the IF journey.
hopefully her attitude is due to ignorance, which can be changed through education. unfortunately this education falls to you/DH and SIL/BIL.
so behind you on this one. so behind you!
Oh ugh. That SO sucks. I think we’re going to face that with a few of DH’s family members and a handful of mine. sigh.
Ouch. That burns. How yukko is that kind of comment?
Honestly.
J
Some people just don’t get it. In my experience, it’s those same people that give the “trite” response of “well, you could always adopt” to the “we’re having problems getting pregnant” comment.
How absolutely insensitive. Big HUGS to you!!!
Oh. My. Gosh. That is one of the most wretched things I’ve heard recently. What a terribly painful thing to do to your SIL. You know, my husband is adopted, and encountered some of the same things from his family. And now that we can’t have family of our own, he’s hesitant to adopt because he’s afraid he won’t love an adopted child like he should, given his rotten experiences, or something like that. So now _I_ don’t have adopted children, because my husband was hurt by his family. If you get a chance, you might want to explain to your SIL that hurtful things like being rejected by your family don’t end with just the one generation, but have a way of being passed along.
Trish
That is a mean and evil attitude. Family is family however you experience it surely?
My adopted cousin is as much my family as any of the blood ones. Actually probably more b/c she was the funnest ever when we were growing up!!
oh how nasty! please go to 2of3 and hug her and tell her that you are sorry she is hurting inside,but please not to take it out on these tiny little children.
anyone who would be that nasty about adopted children has issues that need addressing. please love 2of3 into a more happy state of heart.
Deirdre
Thats horrible :/